I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize