my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
