But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
