I hate your face
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Did you just see the Batmobile???
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
