just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
