Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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