I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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