if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize