Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
