dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
