I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
