these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
