i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
