well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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