well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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