im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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