And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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