I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
