brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize