I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm like, not good at living.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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