I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
