White coat. Heels.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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