I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Everyone says I win the strip club
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
