is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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