perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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