i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
