is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
