No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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