ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
