I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
