There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
