no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
