i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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