Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
