Well apparently he's into motor boating.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
