Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
