Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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