Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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