was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
