It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
