ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
