STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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