Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
