I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
