Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
