so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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