Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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