Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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