Only a mothe r could love this liver
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
