can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
