I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
