You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
