Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
