Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
