At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
