Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
