She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize