how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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