he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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