I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
