Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
