you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
