Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
