Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
