I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
