Say something about gay babies.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
