Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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