terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
