he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I looked at my own cervix.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm sobbing to NWA
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize