Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
