I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We need a shit load of segways right now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
