well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
