I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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