Buhtt sex?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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