Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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