Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
