yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I need to sanitize my soul.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
