New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
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