He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
