i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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