I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
