I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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