His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
