ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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